Being in a relationship can either be really fun or extremely stressful. It’s important to be able to tell the difference between healthy actions and unhealthy actions. You and your partner should be on a level where you are comfortable with each other emotionally and physically.
Read below to see if you are in a healthy relationship or not.
You have been a victim of sexual assault, sexual abuse, domestic violence (emotional and/or physical), or rape, etc. You decide to tell your partner about your experiences.
Healthy: They give you their undivided attention and listen to what you have to say. They comfort you and make you feel safe and comfortable.
Unhealthy: They pepper you with unnecessary questions such as (but not limited to), “Well what were you wearing?” and “Why didn’t you stop it?”. They blame you, don’t pay attention to your words, and/or insult you.
You and your partner connect really well on an emotional level, but you would still like to take things slow physically. So, you let them know this.
Healthy: “Okay, sure, no problem! We won’t do anything until you’re ready.”
Unhealthy: “Come on, can’t we fool around just a little?? Please?” or “Well you promised me that we would have sex, what’s the problem?”
You and your partner connect on a physical level, but not on an emotional level. Sometimes, you need space to be by yourself, so you decide to tell your partner.
Healthy: “I understand. Just know that if you need me, I’m here for you.”
Unhealthy: “But you’re supposed to tell me everything.” or “I thought you loved me. Why would you want to be alone?”
You are in the middle of having sex, but you have a flashback and you would like to stop.
Healthy: You stop having sex immediately and your partner checks to make sure you’re okay.
Unhealthy: Your partner coerces you to continue and/or continues even though you said stop.
You just spent an entire weekend hanging out with your partner. While it was fun, you also miss your friends and you want to let your partner know that next weekend, you’ll be hanging out with your friends.
Healthy: They understand completely and realize that you are a person free to do whatever the hell you want.
Unhealthy: They get mad at you for wanting to spend time with other people.
You are going out with friends, and your partner sees the outfit you are going to wear for the night.
Healthy: They say nothing and compliment you because you look fucking fantastic.
Unhealthy: They make you change your clothes.