realtalksexadvice:

Let’s talk about consent! (Again.) 
What is consent?
Consent is freely given. 
Consent means yes
ONLY yes means yes
What isn’t consent?
Consent is not ambiguous
Consent is not coerced
Consent is not implied 
Consent is not assumed
Consent is not a given no matter how many times you or they have had sex before.
Consent is not the absence of a no
How do I get consent?
Ask! “Is this okay?” “May I do this?” “Can I…”
Keep asking! “Still okay?” “Do you want to keep going?” “May I do this now?” 
Remember: only a yes is yes, the absence of a no does not equal consent. No can come in many forms, if your partner is non-responsive, disassociated, pushing you away, trying to get you to do something else, drunk/high, under age or otherwise incapacitated: THAT MEANS NO. 
Tell your friends. 

realtalksexadvice:

Let’s talk about consent! (Again.) 

What is consent?

  • Consent is freely given. 
  • Consent means yes
  • ONLY yes means yes

What isn’t consent?

  • Consent is not ambiguous
  • Consent is not coerced
  • Consent is not implied 
  • Consent is not assumed
  • Consent is not a given no matter how many times you or they have had sex before.
  • Consent is not the absence of a no

How do I get consent?

  • Ask! “Is this okay?” “May I do this?” “Can I…”
  • Keep asking! “Still okay?” “Do you want to keep going?” “May I do this now?” 

Remember: only a yes is yes, the absence of a no does not equal consent. No can come in many forms, if your partner is non-responsive, disassociated, pushing you away, trying to get you to do something else, drunk/high, under age or otherwise incapacitated: THAT MEANS NO. 

Tell your friends. 


fixyourwritinghabits:

creativesocialworker:

Social Worker Tumblrs
Creative Clinical Social Worker
Social Workin’
It Will All Make Sense
The Political Social Worker
Social Work Tech
Social Work Helper
Radical Social Worker
Social Work Memes
Social Werq
Unemployed Social Worker
Student Social Worker
Products of Poverty
SWK 4 Life
What Should We Call Social Work?
School Meet Life
Canadian Social Worker
Joylisamia
Social Justice Solutions
Life as a Social Worker
ACSWA Clinical Social Work
Social Worky Megan
Lauren LCSW
Miss Joan
Heirloom June
The Notorious Amy
The Social Work Network
Social Worker Taking on the World
Social Work Grad Students
Social Work Wisdom
Social Work Sad
School Social Worker Blog
Social Work Psych Stuff
Alison Rae
What Even Is Social Justice?
Chris Talks Social Work Stuff
Southernish
Social Work Bridges
Social Work Wanderer 
Social Workers Online
Tito Tito
Hand Knit By a Failed Feminist
The Social Work Exam
The Running Vegan MSW
Social Worky
Social Work Musings
Geeky Therapist
Connect The Dots Backwards
Other Side of the Couch
Steven Armijo
Social Work, Psych and Counseling
All Things Social
June on the West Coast
Chasing Thunder
Social Work Problems
Ramp Your Voice
Onewomanareme
Jehovahs Thicknesss
Aspie Social Worker
Social Justice Works
Crasstun
Therapist Tumblrs
Creative Clinical Social Worker
The Humbled Therapist
Therapy 101
It Will All Make Sense
Trauma Therapist
What Should We Call Art Therapy?
Connect The Dots Backwards
Passionate Therapist
Therapist Confessions
Tenacious Twenties
Kati Morton
PsyD or Bust
Twin Therapists
So This is Expressive Therapies
Therapist in Therapy
The Angry Therapist
Doctor School Problems
Psychologist Problems
Keep Calm And Psychoanalyze
She Wants the PsyD
Other Side of the Couch
Secrets of a Sarcastic Psychologist
Confessions of a Broke Grad Student
Geeky Therapist
So You’re a Music Therapist
Thrive Music Therapy
Fuck Yeah Therapizing
Misses Torrance
Art Journaling
Therapist at Play
Creative Arts Therapy Rocks
Psychotherapy
Lowery Makes Art
Serious Mental Illness Blog
Psychological Musings
Cognitive Defusion
Chameleon Play Therapy
LaraMaurinoTherapy
Training-Psychologist
Heirloom June
Counseling Inside and Outside
Psych Jim
Mindful Irreverence
The Medicated Therapist
What Should We Call MFT
Therapy Bros
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Creative Psychologist
Psychology Tumblrs
Real Psycho
Cognitive Defusion
Science of EDs
Counseling Blog
Psych Majors
Mental Health Resource
Recovery and Mental Health
Psych Health
Tidbits of the Mind
Psychology Humor
Mental Health Reform
The Psychology Blog
Behaviourist at Play
Recovery/Support Tumblrs
List of Recovery/Psych/Mental Health/Inspiration Blogs 
Mental Health Tumblr Directory
Mental Illness Tumblr Directory
List of 50+ Mental Health “Advice Animals” Tumblrs
List of Safe Space Tumblrs
Mental Health Advice
Psych Student In Therapy
Establishing a New Normal
Recovery Awareness
Mental Illness Mouse
My Recovery is a Choice
Believe In Recovery
Confessions of Counseling
Illness to Recovery
Pantelina
We Hug The Internet
Self Care After Rape
The Blogs The Thing
Zen Recovery
Reblogging in honor of the last day of Social Work Month.  These arent ranked in any particular order so check them all out.  If I missed you just let me know!

yo I’m reblogging this because it can seriously help folks out, definitely a list worth keeping.

fixyourwritinghabits:

creativesocialworker:

Social Worker Tumblrs

Therapist Tumblrs

Psychology Tumblrs

Recovery/Support Tumblrs

Reblogging in honor of the last day of Social Work Month.  These arent ranked in any particular order so check them all out.  If I missed you just let me know!

yo I’m reblogging this because it can seriously help folks out, definitely a list worth keeping.

(via fuckyeahsexeducation)


micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.
Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 

micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.

Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 

(via fuckyeahsexeducation)


blacktinabelcher:

scrapes:

theafrocentrics:

saashepsu:

ourafrica:

I’m so upset, angry and just completely disgusted about this story!


Matthew Durham, 19, allegedly confessed to sexually assaulting several children at an orphanage in Kenya, police said. (Credit: KFOR)

An Edmond teenager faces a possible life in prison sentence after authorities say they learned about shocking crimes he allegedly committed on an African mission trip.

The suspect was volunteering at a Kenyan children’s home when he allegedly raped and molested a number of young children.

According to court records, 19-year-old Matthew Durham confessed to raping several young girls, forcing some boys to perform oral sex on him and even making other kids watch.

“This is a young man in our community that made choices to exploit children in an orphanage,” said United States Attorney Sanford Coats. “It’s a true tragedy all the way around.”

The 19-year-old suspect traveled overseas with a group called Upendo.

Upendo is an organization that assists neglected Kenyan kids by providing food, housing, clothes and religion.

While Durham volunteered to travel overseas several times over the last two years, on his last visit, the criminal complaint alleges, “Durham requested to stay at the children’s home in an ‘overflow bunk’ rather than at an offsite facility.”

During that visit, several alleged victims claimed Durham “often touched them in a sexual manner or told them to touch themselves while he watched.”

Once confronted, Durham allegedly came clean.

“A caretaker at the orphanage noticed something wasn’t right and confronted Mr. Durham. He admitted to some of the acts,” said Coats.

The affidavit continues, “The victims are believed to be both boys and girls between the ages of four and nine, at least one of whom is HIV positive.”

Prosecutors say while the alleged sex crimes were committed overseas, Durham can be held accountable for the crimes in Oklahoma.

Durham is being held without bond.

Judgement is Death!!!!!!!

This is disgusting.

white people stay losing

nasty ass

This is disgusting. These are the type of people that give a bad name to those who really want to help.


fuckyeahwomenprotesting:

firstnametainted:

GIRLS — if you hit, slap, belittle, kick, punch, choke, throw things at, or control your boyfriends, you are the abuser. You are not a “strong woman”, “empowered”, or anything similar. You are hurting him. Even if his muscles are strong enough to take it, a hit or slap from someone you love is an emotional blow.

Written by a girl who’d never hit a guy.

true

unless it’s self defense there is never a reason to be violent towards a loved one

(via survivorsupport)


sasha-thumper:

yarrahs-life:

dynastylnoire:

ourafrica:

I’m so upset, angry and just completely disgusted about this story!


Matthew Durham, 19, allegedly confessed to sexually assaulting several children at an orphanage in Kenya, police said. (Credit: KFOR)

An Edmond teenager faces a possible life in prison sentence after authorities say they learned about shocking crimes he allegedly committed on an African mission trip.

The suspect was volunteering at a Kenyan children’s home when he allegedly raped and molested a number of young children.

According to court records, 19-year-old Matthew Durham confessed to raping several young girls, forcing some boys to perform oral sex on him and even making other kids watch.

“This is a young man in our community that made choices to exploit children in an orphanage,” said United States Attorney Sanford Coats. “It’s a true tragedy all the way around.”

The 19-year-old suspect traveled overseas with a group called Upendo.

Upendo is an organization that assists neglected Kenyan kids by providing food, housing, clothes and religion.

While Durham volunteered to travel overseas several times over the last two years, on his last visit, the criminal complaint alleges, “Durham requested to stay at the children’s home in an ‘overflow bunk’ rather than at an offsite facility.”

During that visit, several alleged victims claimed Durham “often touched them in a sexual manner or told them to touch themselves while he watched.”

Once confronted, Durham allegedly came clean.

“A caretaker at the orphanage noticed something wasn’t right and confronted Mr. Durham. He admitted to some of the acts,” said Coats.

The affidavit continues, “The victims are believed to be both boys and girls between the ages of four and nine, at least one of whom is HIV positive.”

Prosecutors say while the alleged sex crimes were committed overseas, Durham can be held accountable for the crimes in Oklahoma.

Durham is being held without bond.

PUT HIM UNDER THE JAIL

Tie his hand and feet with 78 heavy duty zip-ties and drop his ass off near a lion pride and put zebra blood on his dick. From the heart. I mean it.

Oh my God. 

(via whatisthat-velvet)


nonbinarypunk:

There ARE laws against this. It’s called rape by deception or fraudulent rape and basically, it’s anytime the conditions of your consent are compromised. In a situation like this, you consented to protected sex. By having sex in a way you did not consent to, a crime WAS committed and he could be charged if any physical effects like pregnancy or STD occurred. Remember, ANY SEXUAL ACTIVITY YOU DON’T CONSENT TO IS RAPE. 
If a guy does this, it’s rape. Call the cops. Ruin his life since he has no problem risking yours. Make him fucking learn. Rapists belong in jail. Rape by deception is rape, not a funny “meme”. 

nonbinarypunk:

There ARE laws against this. It’s called rape by deception or fraudulent rape and basically, it’s anytime the conditions of your consent are compromised. In a situation like this, you consented to protected sex. By having sex in a way you did not consent to, a crime WAS committed and he could be charged if any physical effects like pregnancy or STD occurred. Remember, ANY SEXUAL ACTIVITY YOU DON’T CONSENT TO IS RAPE. 

If a guy does this, it’s rape. Call the cops. Ruin his life since he has no problem risking yours. Make him fucking learn. Rapists belong in jail. Rape by deception is rape, not a funny “meme”. 

(via floozys)


glamaphonic:

moniquill:

No guys, I need to stop and talk about something in this movie and how fucking revolutionary it was; something that I haven’t seen in a movie before or since.

This is a movie about a kid who leaves her birth family.

Not a kid who find that they have a secret lineage or something that allows them to find their ‘true family’ - this is a movie about a kid whose true birth family is made up of bad people. So she gets out. And that is played as the right thing to do. She isn’t punished for it or made to feel bad about ‘abandoning her family’. There isn’t an underlying ‘but they’re your family and you have to love them’ or ‘they’re your family and they love you even if they don’t show it well or do hurtful things’ message of the kind that I see OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER in media. Matilda gets out and lives happily ever after because of it.

We need a million more movies like this to counter the metric shit ton of movies that directly counter this message.

 #sometimes the family you start with isn’t a good one #but you can find your own #family is not absolute #blood is not absolute

(via sixpenceee)


theuniwarriorproject:

Ever wondered what was up with our weird name? Aren’t you the slightest bit curious as to what our plans are for the organization? 

Now you have the chance to find out!

In this video, we talk about the four programs that will launch when we’re incorporated: Destination: Hope, Guy Talk, Kids 4 Art, and our free counseling services.

Enjoy!

(You can also watch our previous video here!)


I still have to come into contact with my (past/current) abuser. What can I do?

theuniwarriorproject:

Coming into contact with an abuser can be extremely difficult, especially after moving on and getting your life together. For some people, it can trigger panic attacks, flashbacks, painful memories, anxiety, and more. 

Whether you saw him/her at the local super market, still have to work/go to school with him/her, or your family/friends insist on bringing them around (this may sound extreme, but it happens), please continue reading.

Read More


Signs That You’re in a Toxic Friendship

theuniwarriorproject:

1. They brush off your problems.

  • Friends are supposed to be the people you count on during difficult times; they don’t ignore your troubles and turn their backs. While some genuinely make an effort to turn away their friends in times of need, others don’t realize that their actions are hurtful. Talking to your friend(s) and shedding light on their actions can help then realize that what they’re doing is not cool. 

2. They make you feel guilty for discussing your issues.

  • No one should ever make you feel bad for talking about things that bother you. If this is the case with you and a friend (or multiple friends), perhaps you should reevaluate what this person  means to you. Your mental health is more important than someone who squashes your right to communicate how you feel.

3. They are unsupportive.

  • For people going through recovery, whether from a traumatic event or an addiction, it is crucial that you have people around you who support your journey to a safe and stress-free life. It is extremely unhealthy to surround yourself with “friends” who would rather reject you than encourage you. 

4. They belittle you.

  • Just like with any relationship, whether romantic or familial, it is NOT okay to be in contact with someone who puts you down. That is emotionally abusive behavior. Friends should cheer you on, not tear you down.

5. They alienate you from other friends, family.

  • If you are on the road to recovery, it’s imperative that you surround yourself with people who are supportive and encouraging. It also helps to have a good balance between alone time (for you to have personal space/relaxation time) and time spent with family and friends. If you find that your friend discourages you from hanging out with other friends/family, please know that this is extremely unhealthy behavior. Friends should respect your space and your need for privacy; they shouldn’t try to keep you all to themselves.

6. Pull you in to bad behavior.

  • As we’ve said before, if you are on the road to recovery, it’s important to surround yourself with positive people. These people will be the ones to pull you up when you’re feeling down. Be on the look-out for “friends” who would rather take you down the wrong road than to see you grow. These types of friendships are unhealthy and should be terminated quickly. Again, your mental health and overall state of being is more important than someone who wants to see you fail.

In Summary

  • You are worthy of love and care, you are worthy of friends who care.
  • You deserve support and encouragement.
  • Don’t feel guilty for speaking up about what bothers you. Ever.
  • Don’t feel guilty for cutting a friend loose if they are affecting your mental health.
  • You are totally awesome, anyone who thinks otherwise sucks.

Read More


fyblackwomenart:

shannonsartwerkk:

harriettumbles ForHarriet put it beautifully: “This young woman is so remarkable. Her bravery inspires. While we continue the fight to end rape (*and also the culture that breeds it, I’d like to add), right now we can create a world where survivors know they are safe, that they are believed, and that their lives need not be consumed with shame.” #JusticeforJada #StandwithJada #IsupportJada! #Endrapeculture #Igart #stoprape #Jadacounterpose

Medium-pencil, marker, digital background color Teal which symbolizes sexual violence awareness & prevention

 : : submission : :

fyblackwomenart:

shannonsartwerkk:

harriettumbles ForHarriet put it beautifully: “This young woman is so remarkable. Her bravery inspires. While we continue the fight to end rape (*and also the culture that breeds it, I’d like to add), right now we can create a world where survivors know they are safe, that they are believed, and that their lives need not be consumed with shame.” #JusticeforJada #StandwithJada #IsupportJada! #Endrapeculture #Igart #stoprape #Jadacounterpose

Medium-pencil, marker, digital background color Teal which symbolizes sexual violence awareness & prevention


 : : submission : :


Q
I have a question: if a white person is raised with in a black community, are they considered apart of the black community and vice versa with a black person raised in the white community[?] (not in like a 'I'm a black person now' kind of way) I'm just curious because I know there are a lot of issues within the black community, but as a black girl raised by white people, I can't exactly consider myself a part of the black community, can I?
Anonymous
A

Hi! You can consider yourself whatever you’d like or whatever feels the most comfortable for you. As a black girl, there are still some issues that will affect you that others around may not experience, so keep an eye out for that. Hope this helps!


foreverpruned:

theo-experimentalist:

theuppitynegras:

sourcedumal:

foreverpruned:

chescaleigh:

lacigreen:

this is rape culture, and it has got to stop.  stay strong jada.

This is so incredibly disgusting. My heart breaks for this girl. 

I am ashamed. Black girls must be protected at all cost. By any means necessary.

So people were distributing child porn and nobody is in jail right now?
Protect this girl. And get the perpetrators thrown under the jail.

she is so brave for speaking out

foreverpruned
ALL girls should be protected, not just black.

Black girls must be protected at all cost. By any means necessary.
Black girls must be protected at all cost. By any means necessary.
BLACK. GIRLS. MUST. BE  PROTECTED. AT ALL. COST. BY. ANY. MEANS. NECESSARY!

foreverpruned:

theo-experimentalist:

theuppitynegras:

sourcedumal:

foreverpruned:

chescaleigh:

lacigreen:

this is rape culture, and it has got to stop.  stay strong jada.

This is so incredibly disgusting. My heart breaks for this girl. 

I am ashamed.
Black girls must be protected at all cost. By any means necessary.

So people were distributing child porn and nobody is in jail right now?

Protect this girl. And get the perpetrators thrown under the jail.

she is so brave for speaking out

foreverpruned
ALL girls should be protected, not just black.

Black girls must be protected at all cost. By any means necessary.

Black girls must be protected at all cost. By any means necessary.

BLACK. GIRLS. MUST. BE  PROTECTED. AT ALL. COST. BY. ANY. MEANS. NECESSARY!

(via webelieveyou)


thisisrapeculture:

Asking non black people not to interject their unnecessary opinions in the issues of intraracial (meaning within a race, as opposed to INTERracial) sexual violence within the Black community IS NOT RACISM. This includes, but is not limited to, the recent and horrifying case of Jada’s sexual assault.

No one is asking you not to support her, all that’s being asked of you IS RESPECT FOR BOUNDARIES of discussion.

It is obvious that none of this type of violence is race specific, it is obvious it happens in most if not all communities, but that is so blatant it should go without saying. Though y’all like to repeat yourselves a whole lot, preaching that we are all human and “our color doesn’t matter” is a form of racism in and of itself.

We ARE all human. But we need to acknowledge our differences to have any of that good ol’ equality you’re gearing your fingers up to type over and over.

Here’s the thing, if you don’t know the history of anti Black racism, you are going to be confused. You’re going to say, “why even mention race at all!?!?!” Not realizing that it is going to be paramount when it comes to how the media will use this story, how non black people will continue to demonize Black youth, and how vulnerable, though very strong, Jada is by putting her identity out in the open in a country that dehumanizes Black girls in a way that’s built on a legacy of oppression.

Many of you can relate to being vulnerable in these societies. No one is telling you not to relate. Many of you feel extremely intensely about her circumstances, and that of others who are going through similar things, regardless of race. NO ONE is telling you you cannot support her and others.

The only thing that is being asked, is that you allow for spaces online for Black people to discuss incidents within the Black communities for themselves without that being co-opted by people who don’t understand the nuance of the situation.

You may not think there are Black social spheres on the internet but there are, and this is where this situation unfolded. This is Rape Culture is open for all, and we have tried to include and blog about subjects from all over the world in a way that always reaffirms the agency of those involved and associated. The only way to carve out a space where Black followers can feel safe mourning, organizing and discussing around these incidents and topics that happen to be intraracial, is to feel like they aren’t going to be spoken over, detracted from, or erased by those outside of these communities.

The issue of intraracial abuse of Black women has been used in the past and present for harm against Black people as a whole. Failing to respect that some conversations are not for everyone to participate in is an aspect of this harm. Again, this does not impede you from supporting or from learning more. It simply is about respect. If you can’t understand why there’s a historical precedent for this need, or that two of your mods are of African descent and have the jurisdiction to speak on these subjects, and yes, have the right to dictate the boundaries of safety for certain issues and subjects, then feel free to unfollow.

But if I have to see one more post about “I don’t care if you’re Mexican, Chinese or PuRpLE!!111 WE ARE ALL HUMANZ” I’m going to lose it. I believe that you all can learn to understand the nuance required to make the safe spaces we are looking to provide.